i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize