marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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