I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
