Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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