Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
