clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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