I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
