Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
