Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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