Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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