Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
