I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
