Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
