two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize