Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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