ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
