He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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