My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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