working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
