I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
