Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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