i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
