We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
