somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
