If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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