there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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