fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
