I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
