When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
