Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
