i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
