So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
