A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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