so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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