So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
