hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
