please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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