this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
