So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
