The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
