Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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