The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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