Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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