She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
