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he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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