Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
