There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
