I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You need a sexual gate keeper
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
