Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
