guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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