I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
