My brain says no but my pants say off.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
